Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
