i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
