I bet he comes in French.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
