I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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