We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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