How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
