I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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