im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
