He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
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I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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