I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do vagina's smell?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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