Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
high people should be assigned attendants
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
