Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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