Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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