Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
