If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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