I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I will die if light touches me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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