I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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