Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
