so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
