sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
