i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
