can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
