it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
