Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize