Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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