Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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