I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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