I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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