Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
