Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
