before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
