he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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