how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
