i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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