dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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