Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize