also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
