i permit you to call me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
