Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
