It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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