my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
