wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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