there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
