ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
