I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
