My nipple is on Facebook.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize