Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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