i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
