Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
