Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
