im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
