Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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