I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize