i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
