Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
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Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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