At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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