So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
