Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
