I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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