I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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