I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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