My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
