It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
