DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My breasts were aching with rage.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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