I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just had sex bonerless
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
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I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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