I'm lost and stupid without you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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