i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
