My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize