id be glad to
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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