he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
