I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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