I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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